ROBERT

Robert Charles Wrasse died on the evening of December 3, 2010. He died just short of his 65^th birthday, which is today, December 15th.

I truly never thought I’d be writing these words, and indeed it has taken me some time to get enough courage to write. But, there is something in me that can not let this all just drift off into oblivion. A blog story of a big ugly cancer fight with no written end. Everyone would understand, but I just can’t do it.

Robert’s physical decline was gradual and relentless until the last week when he himself requested of his warrior wife that Hospice be contacted. Then, the pain and finally his oblivion to the pain increased. Many were praying during his last day and hours. His daughters and son-in-law were awesome as they contended beyond the end.

I am thinking an honored warrior has gone down in an epic battle. I can see the scene like in the Lord of the Rings trilogy he loved so much.  Those stories never end with the death of a hero in the midst of a battle.  There is always a legacy that turns a seeming defeat into a victory.  I am thinking of Moses on the borders of the Promised Land.

I am thinking the legacy has something to do with the prayer warriors Robert’s daughters have become. The prayer warrior I have become, desperation changing me from a mostly lukewarm follower to an ardent seeker after the one true God.  The legacy of the Big Ugly army that has taken on this dreadful disease will go beyond what we are seeing right now

I am thinking that this battle is not over.

There are questions to be answered for sure. Later.  There is more to this fight for sure. Later. Now is the time to heal. My surroundings are numbing and quiet as God’s comfort and healing surround me. This will take time. However, even so…..

Tonight, Sarah, Justin and little Robert, Bethany and Jackson, Cathy and I are going out to a restaurant to celebrate Robert’s birthday and his life. I just know this is making him smile.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSXdmf4jhaY  "PB" courtesy of Rob Alway 

EVEN SO: A THANKSGIVING STORY

             I was in a black mood on Thanksgiving Day. There are some in my immediate family who would probably call that a huge understatement. I only rallied from an extreme attack of nasty, ugly negativity for a brief time in order to post a ‘thanks be to God’ filled status on Facebook. I refuse to go down the ‘you are a hypocrite, Margaret’ road because when I wrote that status, I REALLY believed it. And after that posting, I felt better … at peace… for awhile. A few minutes anyhow. I quoted Philippians 4:6-7 in the Facebook post: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Why doubt this word when I believe all the healing verses as true, settled in heaven, and the words of a God who does not lie? I know the peace was sustainable, if only I’d have given it a chance perhaps by drawing from some more of my scripture wells and drinking deep of the promises of God. Such as this one: Resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7).

            The ugly malignant melanoma beast reared its vicious head right smack dab in the middle of our family Thanksgiving Day celebration. Even so, this did not change God’s promises, His will, or His love for us. Giving into despair never pays off no matter how justified one feels.

Sarah had planned and then prepared a perfect Thanksgiving Day feast from a beautifully set table to a dinner that included homemade from scratch rolls, vegetable side dishes made from researched Martha Stewart and Emeril recipes, (Brussels sprouts with shallots and pancetta, mashed potatoes with heavy cream, chives and freshly grated parmesan cheese, roasted sweet potatoes), a fresh fruit salad with raspberries no less, coleslaw (Mom’s recipe), and a no muss no fuss no clean up spiral honey baked ham. Then there were two pies, pumpkin and a towering apple pie, each with its own from scratch piecrust recipe. This meal was perfect.

            Jackson was cooing while watching on TV the Lions lose their Thanksgiving Day football game for the seventy-first time in a row. Little Robert was attempting some of his first steps – four to be exact. Big grandpa Robert was writhing in pain due to some relentless pressure in his gut probably caused by the beast.

            It seemed almost impossible for me to get past Robert’s contorted, pain filled face as he scrunched in a corner of the living room in a reclining chair. I was really mad at the devil since I know how much Robert loves family gatherings like this one. It was like this day was being stolen from Robert and me! I was angry. As if that ever accomplishes any good.  What actually happened is that thankfulness withered within my being like a potted plant denied water in a full mid summer high noon sun. Or, like that fig tree that Jesus cursed in Matthew 18. Only my thankfulness withered a lot faster. And there was no peace that transcends all understanding in my heart.

            So, one day late, but way better late than never, I reclaim the peace as I proclaim that I am THANKFUL for:

·        my courageous husband

·        my daughters, Sarah and Bethany and son Justin

·        the sweetest, smartest, most exceptional grandchildren in the world, Robert Charles Ray and Jackson Charles Wrasse and Baby Ray #2

·        Cathy Young,  who has provided  us all with a place to live as we walk through the valley

·        the time we have had with family, time that would have otherwise been eaten up with my ‘to do’ lists

·        an army of BIG UGLY prayer warriors

·        family and friends who have not forgotten us out here on the west coast and continue to contact us with encouraging cards and Facebook messages and financial support

·        our Michigan church, Prayer and Praise Assembly of God, a congregation of loving, faithful, supportive people.

·        our Washington church, New Horizon Christian Center,  praying with us and showing love with meals provided for those days when cooking has been impossible.

·        our awesome God and all that He is and the mighty works He does

·        God’s saving and redemptive promises

·        God’s faithfulness which reaches to the sky and  His love which endures forever

·        more daily blessings than can  be listed – such as …

·        the laughter we all experienced while watching the movie Elf once I finally stopped grumping around the house

Robert was in a lot of pain on Thanksgiving Day. His right arm and hand are limp and useless, and his voice has disappeared into raspy static. Even so, God has called me not to grouch through almost an entire day, but to look through eternal eyes to see the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. And since Jesus is the author and finisher of my faith, this is NOT impossible with God. What we see with our earth bound eyes doesn’t change nor reflect the veracity of God’s promises that we find in His word and hear in our hearts. Even so is the bottom line. When all around us is awful and seemingly impossible to bear, even so, God is still our God. No sympathy needed. No complaining and grouching allowed. This is a strong tower and a safe place to be.

What we want to wither rather than my thankfulness is the tumors! Robert has been praying Jeremiah 30: 16-17a. These verses were prophesized over Robert. I have been praying Psalm 42 as we await the manifestation of God’s promises in Robert’s body. Do not despair! Join with us in prayer in the specific ways shown in these two scriptures or as God leads you. Then, even so, ”many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted in answer to the prayers of many.”  (2Corinthians 1:11)

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY UPDATE

November 4^th was the one year anniversary of Robert being handed the dire malignant melanoma diagnosis. (See the first April 30, 2010 post for the beginning of this story and subsequent posts for the journey.) I was going to write a one year anniversary blog post with a slightly cocky tone as Robert has outlived the most dreadful predictions. Now, I really don’t feel much like writing at all. Ever. Everything routine is pretty much on hold. The ubiquitous TO DO list has finally bit the dust. Never thought that would happen. So to all of you who are due thank you notes for your generous prayer and financial support, I hope eventually to get to this because we so appreciate all you help. However….

We have had one heck of a few days! Here is a quick report, some of which may be a repeat for out Facebook friends:

Two weeks ago Robert had a radiation treatment and then an ipi infusion. He was scheduled to have a blood transfusion on Saturday of that week because his blood count was low. He was therefore looking kind of gray and was very tired though everything happening to him now is tiring: radiation, ipi, pain medication, malignant melanoma…. However, he was in good spirits Thursday night as he was getting ready for bed. At some point after he went to bed, he had a seizure which Sarah discovered when she brought little Robert into the bedroom to say good night to grandpa. The following minutes are a blur of praying and calling 911. At this point I don’t care to go over the exact details except to say that the whole experience was surreal, and I was numb to it.

Robert was transported by ambulance to a nearby hospital where he was given an anti seizure drug plus the start of a two unit blood transfusion. As he was getting the second unit of blood, he was again in an ambulance heading for the University of Washington Oncology critical care unit. I rode in the front seat of this ambulance trying to distract myself by watching the morning Seattle rush hour traffic making way for us. I’m not going to lie to you. That small part of this experience was very cool. We arrived at the U of W hospital around 5am Friday. There were then countless tests and consultations with all kinds of doctors including neurologists, radiologists, his clinical trial doctors from the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, a physical therapist, a chaplain…… A long list of people whose names and faces are mostly a blur to me right now.

Robert slowly came back to us, though he remembers nothing of the moments leading up to the seizure, nor anything afterwards until he became aware of the medic poking him for an IV during the first ambulance trip. Afterwards he slept a lot since most of the drugs he is now taking and the seizure itself have that effect. Robert was released from the hospital a day and a half after he was admitted, and we all then spent time trying to catch up on sleep.

The cause of the seizure is probably the tumors in Robert’s brain, though the two that have shown up since the gamma knife procedure are quite small. He is now on anti seizure medication to combat future episodes.

We are thankful for the good care that Robert received and for the fact that, tired though he is, he spent part of his first Sunday back at home watching the Seahawks get creamed and the Lions lose in overtime.

We are also thankful and humbled by the outstanding prayer support that we received during this whole incident. When we were able to look at Facebook on Sunday, we were blessed by the huge numbers of people praying and leaving encouraging comments on Sarah’s updates and also posts on our wall. A stunning video which really boosted our spirits was posted on our wall by Judy Nordean. Check it out if you are using Facebook.  We are also thankful to Cathy Young for calling the prayer chains that I shouted out to her as I was leaving the house. It brings to mind one of the first scriptures that we believe directly speaks to our situation, 2 Corinthians 1: 9-11.  We are so grateful for the “prayers of many.”

Quite frankly, Robert has not been even close to himself since the seizure. His right arm is limp and useless. His voice is less than a raspy whisper. Right before he was discharged from the hospital, it was determined that a relatively new pain in the right thigh is from the cancer invading his thigh bone. In the days after he was home, this pain kept him (and me) awake all night long from Saturday through Tuesday night. On Wednesday, thanks to some ultra compassionate and skilled radiologists who stayed after hours to help Robert have less pain, that area on Robert’s thigh received a massive radiation treatment. Wednesday night, we slept. That pain was much diminished! Robert is scheduled for several more radiation blasts on tumors that are giving him ‘discomfort,’ i.e. excruciating pain.

Last night, the pastor of our Seattle area church made a house call to administer quite a bit of supernatural chemotherapy, which is a therapy without nasty side effects. He prayed and prayed, commanding tumors in Robert’s body to line up with the word of God and for Robert’s body to also respond with healing and health to God’s word.

Today, Robert is again watching various football games, an activity that in a past life I considered mindless at best. (Sorry football fans. Just my opinion.) Today, however, I am pleased to see Robert getting excited about some good throws, catches and runs – unfortunately just not in the Detroit Lions’ game.

I am sensing that it is tiresome for me to record this litany of misery that contains a scarcity of medical encouragement after which I come back with the word of God that I cling to in spite of what I see. I know, at this point, this repetitive chronicle makes me look foolish to at least some of you. Yet, I also sense that it is important to honestly record just exactly how this is going down right now.

When I finally got back to my room after the time spent in the hospital, I went over it all with God. A year’s worth of prophetic words and the words of God have promised healing for Robert. That has not changed at all. In fact, after we both battle through the discouragement and horror of what we see and get our focus fixed on the word of God, we are more determined and convinced than ever that this is not unto death. Robert is not yet finished!

Prayer warriors, please continue to pray. It is time for the manifestation of the miracle that God has promised in His word and to us prophetically. Specifically, the tumors popping up under the skin all over Robert’s body need to stop their aggressive and relentless advance and just plain be removed. Ditto the tumors in Robert’s lungs. These nasty things were defeated at the scourging post and need to line up with God’s intent and purposes. Then pray for restoration of the use of Robert’s right hand and the restoration of his voice, which was decades ago ordained to praise God and preach His good news. Pray for God to arise and his enemies to scatter. Pray that we have the grace to walk in the spirit and in the peace of our Jehovah Shalom. Pray that we all see the promises of God fulfilled in the land of the living.

COLD TOES

Cold toes. Frost on the ground. Warm clothes, including shoes with toes enclosed, are in Michigan. I am 2000 or so miles away in Washington – western Washington. We arrived mid summer, and now autumn is advancing at an alarming rate especially for my freezing sandal clad toes.

Except for time spent traveling to doctor appointments, waiting first in a large glass walled room with a stunning view of Union Lake and then in a collection of small white rooms each with a bed and lots of medical equipment followed by time spent traveling back home after the appointments, our days are a collage of babies cooing and crying, growing and getting ready to walk plus mundane household duties and activities. When the babies are napping or otherwise occupied, my eyes burn from too much time spent staring at the computer monitor letting facebook and the e edition of the Ludington Daily News give me news of home.

Plus, we watch movies and various offerings such as Food Channel programs and … other stuff … on an enormous flat screen TV, something not done by us back in Michigan. Okay. I confess. Who’d ever guess that this grandma would spend more than a few seconds watching sweat drenched barefoot pairs of men grappling and kicking each other in an octagonal cage surrounded by screaming observers? UFC.  I’d never heard of it before this visit to stay with Sarah and Justin. I might be losing my grip, folks. Yet, in my defense, I am really into fight metaphors at the moment. These fights with their strategies and their dramas of man to man combat seem to help me visualize my fight with an unseen enemy. The gooey morass of worry, apprehension, and anxiety that tries to punch me and keep me from using my weapons which are the words of God have some similarities to the battles fought by these UFC barefoot, sweat smeared warriors. And,  I yell, “Hey! It’s not fair to kick, is it?”

Cold feet.  That’s what the majority of the Hebrew spies had after they scoped out the Promised Land and found not only blessings and abundance but giants. Dang! Those pesky giants are EVERYWHERE! As recorded in Numbers 13:1 -14: 11 and Deuteronomy 1: 19 – 40, the Hebrew spies came back from their promised land foray convinced that the giants were too big, in fact, too big for God to handle as he had promised he would. So, the Hebrew spies and the Hebrew nation, except for two spies, Joshua and Caleb, tapped out.  UFC followers know this is a sometimes subtle but always sadly submissive sign of surrender to an opposing force. It is quietly acknowledging that enough is enough! It is white flag time. It is time to quit and head back to the desert because the giants are just too big and scary. It is having cold feet and using those feet to retreat. At this point in UFC, the other guy wins. The giants triumph!

Some may want non metaphorical information, so I will be blunt. The giants we face are growing tumors, especially one honking mega monster jutting from Robert’s chest just under the skin. It has now popped the skin and is oozing evil brews. New tumors are daily popping up under the skin throughout Robert’s body. The tumors inside his lungs are probably also growing as the painful pressure has increased. He has lost enough weight now so as to look frail. Also, the fearful, anxious thoughts are coming on like multiple chin punches and body jabs. Bam! Bam! Bam!

I see giants every day and hear them in Robert’s groans at night. Hence, I now better understand the terrified Hebrews than I did in our pre diagnosis era. Reading this Old Testament story in the past, I’ve always inwardly sneered at the dull of spirit and fearful Hebrews. “What’s with you guys? How could you have been so stupid? You should have just trusted God and looked back to the miracles he previously performed for you! Duh! Scaredy cats!”  Now I see how giants can make one want to run for the hills. The giants, with their utter presence and enormity, can make one get cold feet. Then, frozen with fear and forgetting the promises of an all powerful God, one will want to tap out and end the battle.

Okay. So we’ve gotten the snot beaten out of us the first several rounds. Are we ready to tap out? Are we ready to head to the desert because God is not mighty enough to take on these huge giants we see every day? Are we ready to say that God cannot be trusted and is not able to perform that which he has promised?

NO! NO! A thousand times NO! Cold toes or not! NO!

Even as I write this, our faith grows to meet the challenge. Robert with his raspy voice and I discuss the verses in Philippians 1 – To live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet, what shall I choose? I am torn between the two!  I desire to depart and be with Christ which is better by far, but it is more necessary that I remain with you in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and I will continue…. We simply cannot chose to end this battle with a tap out. Bloody and sweaty, we rise from the mat and yell at our opponent, who I am convinced is God’s opponent as well, “Surely our Lord Jesus took up our infirmities and carried our diseases (Matthew 8:17) …, and by his wounds, we are healed! (Isaiah 53:4)

Then, raspy voice or not and cold toes tingling with expectation, we sing that wonderful Kim Walker song lyric, “Suddenly, I am unaware of afflictions eclipsed by glory…oh, how he loves us so!” 

BATTLE CRY

“Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever. Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever. Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever.”

            This is the way King Jehoshaphat led his army against vast armies of Moabites and Ammonites and some other ‘ites’ that were invading the land of Judah. When Jehoshaphat first heard of the impending invasion, he was “alarmed” according to the story recorded in 2 Chronicles 20. He henceforth “resolved to inquire of the LORD”, and he proclaimed a fast for all of Judah, and the people of Judah came together to seek help from the LORD. Jehoshaphat then prayed to God, crying out in distress and asking God for guidance and help. The prayer is recorded in verses 6 through 12.  

            As the people waited and prayed, a prophet told the king, “Listen King Jehoshaphat and all the people who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow march down against them. … Take your positions and stand firm, and see the deliverance the LORD will give you. ... Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out and face them tomorrow and the LORD will be with you.’”

            Then the king and the people rejoiced and sang of God’s enduring love, and they marched out to battle. “As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab… who were invading, and they were defeated.” (v. 22)

            This is a story that suggests a process and also promises a victory when fighting a battle against forces opposed to God.

            Two weekends ago, our church in Michigan, Prayer and Praise Assembly of God, proclaimed a time a prayer and fasting in a fight against the cancers attacking Robert and our son-in-law Justin. The event was called “Battle Cry.” We were not there, but we heard reports of the praise and worship, the prayers for our family, the attacks in the spirit upon cancer in Mason County as well as against the tumors in Robert’s body and the lesions in Justin’s body. There were prophetic words that reaffirmed that which we have heard from God. As we also prayed in Washington, we were encouraged.

            Looking at the symptoms currently showing in Robert’s body is not all that encouraging, however. To date, the seen has not offered one bit of encouragement as tumors continue to pop up in different parts of Robert’s body, and his pain increases. Medical intervention has not so far led to one speck of improvement nor offered anything in the way of a hope for healing. The best we can expect is that tumor growth might slow and possibly give a few more months of life. Even this hope of slowed tumor growth, we have not seen.

            Our only real hope with this disease, malignant melanoma, is the promise of an unseen God. There, I’ve said it. I’ve named the enemy, a vast army of tumors bent on destroying my husband’s body. I have assessed the situation. I am alarmed. We have prayed and fasted. We have received prophetic words. And we are waiting for it to be done in Robert’s body according to the word of God. We are waiting for the seen to align with the promises in the word of God.

            This all brings to my mind a different cry, far from a battlefield. It is my cry to my father in heaven, my Abba, which means daddy. It brings to mind my earthly father, who died in 2001 six months after being diagnosed with colon cancer. He was my fixer for most of my life until I got married and sometimes even after that if Robert was too busy to jump right on it.  When I needed a contact lens retrieved after washing it down the drain, he was the one to call to unscrew the pipe to get the lens out of the drain trap. If I needed a wobbly shelf to be reattached to the wall, I’d call my daddy. If one of my old oak chairs became rickety, he was the one with the skill and patience to fix it with glue and clamps.

            So now I cry out to my Father God, Abba/Daddy. My Father in heaven is named among other hallowed names, Jehovah Rapha - the LORD our healer or physician. I call out to my Abba:

I know that it is your will to heal Robert if for no other reason than it is your name! I know you are the perfect father more able and willing than my earthly father even to give me good gifts when I ask. I know that you are not a God that could ever lie, and your word and your promises are true and settled in heaven.  Let it be on earth as it is in heaven, where there is no cancer.

Abba, please fix my Robert.  

FIVE SMOOTH STONES

           I think I may have made a huge information leap in the last blog post. Robert’s right arm not functioning? Tumors in Robert’s brain? Gamma knife radiation surgery? I guess the birth of grandson number two is all we thought of for awhile. So, let’s catch up.

            After our first Seattle Cancer Care Alliance appointment to investigate the trial drug, ipilimumab, but before the MRI appointment to check if the malignant melanoma had advanced to Robert’s brain, Robert began to have difficulty typing at the computer. By the time of the second SCCA appointment, he could barely use his right arm and hand to write or grasp anything, never mind to hold Jackson or to lift little Robert. So, in a way the MRI report showing four tumors in Robert’s brain was not surprising though it was daunting. This was a huge enemy advance. The largest tumor was in an area of his brain that controls the nerve messages to the right arm. The trial doctor told us that Robert would need gamma knife radiation surgery to deal with these tumors before he would be able to be in the trial. This news was dreadful to us that day, but worse was the threat of seizures and further loss of body and mind function. However, the doctor seemed optimistic about gamma knife surgery, and the procedure was scheduled. Jackson was born right after we received this news.

As stated in the last blog post, the next MRI that set up the gamma knife procedure showed not four but ten tumors. The neurologist went after all ten like a video gamer, putting coordinates into a computer and then watching with glee as the radiation gamma knifed all ten tumors, the smallest ones being the size of pencil points. It was like a game of battleship with the computer scoring a tumor strike every time. Zap! Zap! Zap!

Robert was then given a course of steroid medication to keep swelling in his brain down to a minimum. At this point, he almost totally regained use of his right arm and hand.

With hope then on September 15^th, we headed to Seattle for the first ipilimumab treatment, henceforth to be called by me, ipi. Since this would involve a six hour series of procedures, Justin, battling pain from Hodgkin’s lymphoma in his bones, and Sarah, battling morning sickness, drove us from Puyallup to Seattle, a lengthy commute, and dropped us off at the SCCA. After part of the prep work was done, we met with a physician’s assistant who after looking at blood tests discovered that Robert was taking a course of steroid treatment. Robert therefore could not be started on the ipi because the steroids do the opposite of ipi to the immune system … somehow. So, at 5 PM, the height of Seattle rush hour traffic and in the midst of a persistent heavy rain, Justin was in route to retrieve us from the SCCA. Grrrrr.

To make an excruciatingly long story short, about fifteen minutes into our rainy let’s get the heck out of Seattle ride home via traffic choked southbound I – 5, a van driven by a woman with questionable merging skills, hit a huge black Dodge Durango which hit a bus, which slammed the Durango into the back passenger section of Justin’s Volvo. He handled our 360 degree spin calmly, so as we crossed and re-crossed lanes of traffic, we did not hit any other cars although we ended up crunched into the median wall halfway into the HOV lane (the fast lane for drivers with passengers) facing the wrong way.  We were not hurt, praise God, although Justin’s Volvo is history. Being an older Volvo, it is not valued by the insurance company in a way that reflects what it was worth to Justin and Sarah nor what a comparable replacement will be. Grrrrr.

Moving ahead, Robert has now been though one 90 minute infusion of ipi that is as I write coursing through his veins. He feels not as well as before, and since he is off the steroids, his right hand has lost some of its function probably due to continued healing of the gamma knife radiation incisions. He also has had a day of intense pain in his left lung. The doctor thought it might be due to the fact that melanoma tumors are very vascular or full of blood vessels, and if one vessel should rupture, the encapsulated tumor would not allow the blood to escape and the resulting pressure would cause the kind of pain that Robert experienced. It was a scary day. Robert was absolutely immobilized with pain. We, of course, prayed as did the many people who are battling with us in prayer, the Big Uglies. By evening the pain subsided, and Robert was able to eat a small bowl of Italian Sausage soup.

Enough of this growling. Back to the war!

In our latest battle strategy, we have been using the biblical story of David and Goliath in 1 Samuel 17:40 – 53. I’ve quoted from these verses in previous blog posts since David’s challenge to Goliath is such a wonderful picture of any encounter with an awful giant.

Nightly, we heave five smooth stones at the giant called cancer/malignant melanoma tumors/Hodgkin’s lymphoma lesions. We go out with praise as shown in 2 Chronicles 20: 20-25. GIVE THANKS TO THE LORD, FOR HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER!  We are armed not with the weapons of this world, but with the word of God in a pouch of prophetic words such as 2 Corinthians 6:2. “IN THE TIME OF MY FAVOR I HEARD YOU, AND IN THE DAY OF SALVATION I HELPED YOU.’ …NOW IS THE TIME OF GOD’S FAVOR, NOW IS THE DAY OF SALVATION. We run towards the battle lines of nasty symptoms and horrid scan results, and we take stones out of the pouch and heave them at the giant. We sling them one after another based on Mark 11:22-24 and James 4:7 where we are promised that we can speak to mountains and they will be removed if we believe and if we resist the devil, he will flee.

Our five smooth stones reflect God’s promises to us and the authority and hope that allows us to defy such a giant.

Stone #1 is God’s word in scripture which promises without contradiction that it is God’s will and within His power for Robert and Justin to be healed. An example of this stone is: Exodus 15:26 – I AM THE LORD WHO HEALS YOU.  Or Psalm 107:20 – HE SENT FORTH HIS WORD AND HEALED THEM; HE RESCUED THEM FROM THE GRAVE. There are lots more where those came from.

Stone#2 is the father child relationship we have with our Father God. For children of God, healing is the children’s bread (Mark 7:27). An example of this stone is Matthew 7:11 – IF YOU KNOW HOW TO GIVE GOOD GIFTS TO YOUR CHILDREN, HOW MUCH MORE WILL YOUR FATHER IN HEAVEN GIVE GOOD GIFTS TO THOSE WHO ASK HIM!  There’s more of that type of stone, too.

Stone #3 is the atonement. Jesus died on the cross for us, for our sins to be forgiven so that we can have access to a holy God and for our bodies to be healed. Matthew 8:17 refers back to the prophetic Isaiah 53:4 - HE TOOK UP OUR INFIRMITIES AND CARRIED OUR DISEASES. Another example of this stone is 1 Peter 2:24 – HE HIMSELF BORE OUR SINS IN HIS BODY ON THE TREE, SO THAT WE MIGHT DIE TO SINS AND LIVE FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS; BY HIS WOUNDS YOU HAVE BEEN HEALED. This is a mighty stone that is repeated throughout scripture.

Stone #4 is our unity or union with Jesus. My favorite example of this stone is Romans 8:11 – AND IF THE SPIRIT OF HIM WHO RAISED JESUS FROM THE DEAD IS LIVING IN YOU, HE WHO RAISED CHRIST FROM THE DEAD WILL ALSO GIVE LIFE TO YOUR MORTAL BODIES THROUGH HIS SPIRIT WHO LIVES IN YOU. Again, there are lots more unity stone scriptures.

Stone #5 is the mercy and love of God towards us. Oh, how he loves you and me. We appeal to this God of mercy and love when we sling this stone such as Psalm 145: 8-9 – THE LORD IS GRACIOUS AND COMPASSIONATE, SLOW TO ANGER AND RICH IN LOVE. THE LORD IS GOOD TO ALL; HE HAD COMPASSION ON ALL HE HAS MADE. There are more of the love stones in scripture than I can ever think of recording.

Five smooth stones. Foolishness to some, perhaps. Yet, I believe our five smooth stones will accomplish their purpose, and the giant will be felled. In a few chapters prior to the David and Goliath story, Samuel states, “Thus far has the Lord helped us.” Samuel is reacting to a battle with the Philistines where the Lord thundered with a loud thunder and the Philistines were thrown into a panic and retreated.  Samuel celebrated this by placing a stone he called Ebenezer on the spot where this victory took place. Ebenezer means “stone of help.”  Foolish or not, we will continue slinging our stones! Thus far the Lord has helped us.

On Friday, September 24^th from 6 PM until Saturday, September 25^th, at 6 PM, our church in Michigan, Prayer and Praise Assembly of God, www.pandp.org  is going to host a time of prayer and fasting for Robert’s and Justin’s healing and for the defeat of this huge giant.  This event is called Battle Cry.

LIFE

            Welcome, Jackson Charles Wrasse, born at 9:01 on 9/03/10 weighing in at 9 pounds, 10 ounces, and measuring 22 inches from dark haired head to sweet little toes.

            When a baby is born, all the crap of life is put on pause. A birth kicks the devil in the butt. If one has the wonderful opportunity to witness a birth up close and personal, one can experience first hand energy from the one true God and an acknowledgment that our hope is so justified. Metaphors of the birth experience abound, all pointing to goodness overcoming, beauty conquering and purity victorious. The father heart of God prevails over all adversity, pain and fear. It’s all there on the sweat drenched face of a laboring mom to be, in the travail that turns instantly to beaming joy, and in the first squeals from a babe thrust into a new world just knowing that these squeals will be met with love and care and abundant joy. 

            For a few days, the big ugly cancer fight is paused. Yet, perhaps not. Take that, devil. You have been giving us your worst, and still innocence prevails, praises rise heavenward and peace descends. Life triumphs! New life always trumps the devil’s evil works.

This past week has been huge in the cancer fight venue. Robert underwent gamma knife surgery on Thursday morning. He started the day by having a six pound steel "halo" screwed right into his skull in four places with 1/4 inch screws. I have not yet received permission to share pictures of this, but Robert looked like a cross between Anthony Hopkins in Hannibal and Darth Vader. The surgery took over 2 hours rather than the 20 minutes we expected since there were ten and not four tumors as we had been told. The technology is astounding. It is like a game of battleship that the computer always wins once it has the coordinates. Robert was on an MRI like narrow bed that moved into the machine, also somewhat like an MRI contraption. Then the bed with Robert’s perfectly immobile, haloed head firmly attached to the bed frame, so to speak, moved this way and that according to the ten coordinates. When the procedure was finished, he was able to walk away from the machine. His right hand, almost useless in the past several weeks due to one of the tumors in his brain, has already regained some strength. All ten tumors were zapped. There is just a little swelling around Robert's eyebrows to indicate the gamma knife counter attack inside his brain. This procedure can be repeated if new tumors invade or show up. The doctors are also planning to radiate the tumor in Robert's hip/butt at some point.

I felt bad for the next guy in line for the gamma knife procedure, who in his heavy "halo" thought he was waiting for just 20 minutes for his procedure, but ended up waiting for well over two hours. I tried not to look at his unhappy face behind the steel bars. His wife may have been aiming some sour looks my way as well. At any rate, once Robert’s gamma knife procedure was completed, we were soon heading back to our home away from home, Starbucks mocha lattes in hand. We are now waiting to hear from the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance regarding the start of the ipilimumab treatments, which will probably happen sometime this week, possibly Wednesday.

Justin also waits to hear the results of his second bone biopsy, which he had at the same time as Robert’s gamma knife procedure. This painful biopsy procedure has added to the Hodgkin’s lymphoma pain and was necessary since the first bone biopsy was inconclusive. This week, he will have a port put into his chest for future chemotherapy treatments.

Yikes, yet, we are praying, and we are trusting that our prayers together as a family, according to the will and word of God, are striking blows to the enemy and putting us in a position “to take the land.” Nightly, we heave five smooth stones at the Goliath called cancer, the stones being like swords of the spirit, which are the word of God. We can’t see it, but we believe the army of God has risen up, and the enemy is being scattered.

            What we can see is a perfect baby boy at peace in the arms of his mommy. His cousin looks on in wonder and babbles happily. Life abounds! In fact, another life is on its way! Little Robert is going to have a brother or sister in May, 2011.  How about that!